About 3 days out of the week I get up, pack the kids into their double jogging stroller, and take off down the trail near my house using this app on my “phone” called Ease Into 5k. The reason I put the word phone in quotes is because I use my iPhone for everything except talking or text messaging on. This is because I am broke and/or cheap (I haven’t decided which) and refuse to pay the ridiculous $120 or whatever it cost me before to use my iPhone as an actual phone. Instead I have a gorgeous little pay-as-you-go phone that costs me next to nothing, and I don’t care if my 17 month old takes it and throws it against the wall, or runs into the kitchen with it where I find it later that night, covered in something sticky. What the hell does that kid even get sticky from? I swear he’s a closet dumpster diver.

Back to the point of this post — I beat my “phone” up today. I was on my way home from the work out and I was feeling very jock-like. No really, I pretend I am training military style when I’m running with that double stroller. I probably look more like a plump tomato, trying to push an oversized shopping cart. I’m sure I fit in with the homeless people hanging out on the trail and they’re all asking each other why I am running instead of chilling with them and feeding the ducks while harassing the people passing by for money. So while I was feeling like G.I. Jane I decided to run across the street and head home on a shortcut, and dashed across the road worried about cars arriving out of nowhere, dropped the iPhone from my tiny sweater pocket — a pocket that’s probably only there for show — then kicked my iPhone repeatedly across the street while I continued running because I was terrified a car would appear and run into me and my kids.

So now the screen looks like — well, it’s just ugly okay? But that’s cool because I only use it for working out with, tweeting, Facebook, iMessage, and sexting my husband. No big deal.

Gotta go now. I will leave you with another vlog. They are kind of fun.

Love,

Super Tori